Tokyo (AP) Inter-tron CEO, Tekada Komayashi, confirmed what New Yorker ‘around the web” columnist Gilbert Weinstein called “the webs most persistent rumor.” Chat rooms were abuzz today over the announcement, though many internet snobs (snobbits as coined by Rutgers University English Department grad student Maria Fung) insisted that as chatroom moderator Chass “bigbyte” Weston posted, “we knew it was true all along.” Said Komayashi, “Based on a regressive evaluation of previous simulation models, combined with some peer-moderated synthesis and extrapolation, Intertron (Pte.) confirms that Quest Tuesday not only already occurred, but was enjoyed by all in attendance.” Early trading this morning on the Nikkei and NYSE indicated not only investor relief, but even showed signs that investor capital was rather bullish on the news, lifting Intertron’s market capitalization up significantly. When asked for comment at a campaign stop, Finance Minisier Ralph Goodale seemed unprepared for the news but offered his opinion that news demonstrated “the strength of Canadian economy and its ability to compete on the world stage.”
I fought Sasquatch. Who’s next?